You get up every morning, and as soon you open your eyes, you feel tired. Every day is a struggle, and no matter how much coffee you drink, nothing seems to help.  Why has suddenly your days turned into a constant battle?  Why has your whole world turned so dull?

When every day is the same, and you’re no longer evolving, you cannot expect to feel good.  Something is missing in your life, a little spark to make you feel alive again. You feel as if you stopped evolving at some point, and this feeling drips as poison into your veins. 

How can you become the best version of yourself?

Living life to its full potential, discovering our true self, and finding meaning in what we do is essential.  As children, we dream of accomplishing so many things, but we tend to leave them behind as we grow up. 

When was the last time you got excited about something? If you answer that only the weekends make you happy, there is something wrong with your life.  There is no reason to feel bad about it. We all fall into this trap.

A year has 365 days, and approximately 104 are weekends. You shouldn’t let yourself feel alive only on those days. Becoming the best version of yourself can help you improve your life and your relationships.

So let’s see the steps you need to take to know who you are and bring back a smile on your face.

Step 1: Monitor your thoughts

 

What does your inner voice say to you? Is it always telling you what you did wrong? When you see the cup half-full, nothing will make you happy.  No matter what you accomplish, nothing will fulfill you.

The battle will be lost from the beginning.  This feeling is why many people reach their goals and then feel empty as if nothing happened.  You have to understand what goes through your mind, interpret the outside world and your emotions. 

Most of the time, we see reality through a distorted lens. We don’t believe that we can change our lives for the better.  We make up excuses all the time: we are too old, we have many responsibilities, we have no time… 

But are all these thoughts real?  At some point, you might doubt yourself for a few seconds and think that something can change if you only tried. You might see a motivational video on YouTube and think this is it.

However, motivation doesn’t last for long. As soon as you focus on your thoughts, you begin to doubt yourself again.  If you want to change, you have to question your beliefs, especially the negative ones.

Why are you so confident that only the worst can happen?

Are you a psychic?  If you are, why don’t you predict the winning lottery numbers and solve your financial problems, at least?  The problem is that you don’t believe in yourself; it all starts with you. 

Start questioning yourself every time your mind starts to play tricks on you and find ways to lead you to a positive outcome.

It’s time to give yourself a break. 

 

 

Step 2: Don’t stay still

 

Get your foot off the brake and hit the accelerator. When you take one step forward and two steps back, you’re not getting anywhere.  Are you afraid of everything around you? Are you always doubting your thoughts?

If you want to become the best version of yourself, you ought to believe in you.  No-one else will, and no-one will make things happen for you. You are responsible for yourself.  We all got hurt at some point in the past or made poor choices, that really took a hit on our confidence. 

It might be from the way we were brought up, by the relationships we had, the mistakes we made, or the lost opportunities…  Many factors might make us feel that our future might play the same beat on repeat because we didn’t succeed what we wanted in the past. 

First of all, don’t listen to the negative self-talk, what happened in the past are just experiences, and you shouldn’t blame yourself or others about it.  Moving forward is the only solution that can set you free.

As a sculptor, take your life into your own hands and give it the shape you want.  Slowly, quickly it doesn’t matter. Just don’t stay still. 

Step 3: Stop falling into the comparison trap

 

Are you checking social media and feel jealous of other people? They are prettier, taller, thinner, younger, wealthier, and fill in the blank…  We usually see the shiny side of everyone’s life, even if we look at the people around us. 

People feel vulnerable, revealing their weaknesses and insecurities isn’t something they do.  When you compare yourself to others, you’re comparing two different things.

Do you think that only you feel like you’re the one who lacks something? 

Even the most successful people have the same feelings. However, you cannot see it because everyone keeps these emotions hidden.  Unfortunately, you cannot bury them and look the other way. 

That is why you have to stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to become a better version of yourself, your only competitor is yourself.  Let yourself evolve and become better at what you want to do and focus on your goals.

No-one in this world is the same, and your path is different than the one others have.  Embrace your uniqueness. That is what can make you stand out in the crowd and set you apart from others. Don’t be afraid of being you. 

 

Step 4: Become creative

 

When was the last time you used your imagination? If you can’t remember the time, that can be the root of your problems.  We don’t play anymore. As we grow up, we become too serious and focus on our careers. 

Have you seen how creative people look? 

At least ten years younger, full of energy and have that spark in their eyes, the one you see in children.  Wouldn’t you want that in your life?  Then do something about it.

Pick up a hobby you like and make time for it. It doesn’t matter what it is, pick something you want.  It might be gardening, cooking, drawing, or playing your favorite sport.

Find something that will make you lose track of time and let you immerse in the experience.  When you work with your hands and create something – most of us no longer do – you can see that you can build your confidence and apply these skills to every aspect of your life. 

Focus, organization, creative thinking are only some of the skills you’ll acquire while doing the things you love. It’s all about training your mind.

 

Step 5: Invest in yourself

 

No matter how much you make, no matter what you have, everything could be lost. The only thing no-one can take away from you is what you know and your skills. You are your most valuable asset.

In this day and age, we have seen large companies collapse in a blink of an eye. You might feel secure while working for a big corporation, but you can’t be sure this will last forever.

Even if all things go well, you might feel stuck because you don’t get the promotion you’re expecting.  The same thing applies to your relationship, if at some point it feels dead you have to see the situation as it is. 

Sometimes trying to change things is feeling like beating a dead horse. You have to understand that there is no point in waiting for miracles to happen. Take your life into your own hands and move on. 

I’m not saying you should quit your job or leave your relationship without trying first to find solutions.  However, don’t let time pass you by without doing something.

Sometimes, we all ignore the signs that tell us that what we’re experiencing won’t get any better.  Choose your battles wisely, and don’t bother with ones that don’t matter.

You can’t expect your boss to wake up one day and appreciate everything you do if he hasn’t already done so.  The world doesn’t consist of only the things and the people we know.

There are also other job opportunities and other people to meet. Try to put an end to this narrow-minded thinking. 

Be more flexible as a human being, my way or the highway mindset won’t make you happy. 

 

Step 6: Don’t listen to other people’s opinion

 

Can you make everyone happy?  No.  If you’re always worrying about what others might think and say about you, you’ll lose your mind.  Stand up for your choices and don’t bother explaining yourself to others.

People are always judging others through their own insecurities.  At least whatever the outcome might be, you’ll be 100%responsible, and you won’t have any regrets. 

Life is too short to postpone everything until the moment you feel ready. No one is or will ever be prepared to try something new. 

Most of the people who became successful were told at some point in their life that they weren’t good enough to pursue the career they picked and that they should give up.

Oprah Winfrey, Stephen King, Elvis Presley, and the list goes on and on.  Have faith in yourself and do whatever you can to achieve your goals.

Listen to other people’s advice, but use your mind and don’t question so much yourself.  If you give it your best, you’ll become better at what you want to do.

 

Step 7: Take care of yourself

 

While you’re trying to achieve your dreams and goals, you shouldn’t leave yourself behind. Your health and your well-being are also important.  Work-out, eat healthily, and find time to relax.

Spend time with the people you care about and love.  Don’t take yourself too seriously, laugh whenever you can, and talk about the way you feel.  

Stop suffering in the darkness with your negative thoughts, bring them to the light by talking with the people who are really close to you. After all, a problem shared is a problem halved, and a joy shared is a joy doubled.

 

Step 8: Look at the footsteps you left behind

 

Are you always thinking of the next big thing you want to accomplish in your life? Do you get stressed and feel that you’re getting nowhere?  Take a breathe and stop worrying for a moment about the future. 

Hit pause.

Do me a favor and look at the past and see all the things you’ve accomplished. 

Sometimes, as we try to achieve another great big thing, we forget what we have already accomplished. 

Celebrate those wins and keep them as a guiding light that will help you through the difficult times. 

Trying to become the best version of yourself is about evolving as a human being and exploring all your capabilities.   

 

Step 9: Forgive yourself

 

Take a look at a mirror and look at yourself in the eyes. Forgive yourself for all the things that happened in the past.  You know what I’m talking about, all the things that you’re not so proud of.

I cannot stress this enough, no-one is perfect, and such a thing doesn’t exist. 

Don’t let your mistakes stop you from evolving.

Think of them as your most treasured memories that help you find your path and lead you to your goals. 

Michelangelo, the famous sculptor, he believed that he liberated the forms that were imprisoned in the marble he carved through his work.

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

Michelangelo

Look at yourself and see how you abuse yourself. You probably wouldn’t let anyone else treat you this way, but you let yourself do it.

Be proud of who you are because there is no-one else like you. 

 

Step 10: Fall in love with yourself

 

Last but not least, love yourself. Deeply and fully love yourself as if you were the love of your life.  I don’t mean that you should only think about yourself and become a narcissist. 

When we feel that no-one likes us or loves us, the problem isn’t those people but ourselves. 

We don’t like ourselves and search a way out of this feeling by blaming others or finding comfort in food, alcohol, or other numbing substances.

Embrace your identity and become the best version you can become.

If we light that spark in every one of us, the world will be a better place.