Are you always thinking that other people mistreat you, hate you or think less of you? Are you struggling with all your power to make others like and love you? Let me ask you a question… Do you love yourself or self-love isn’t in your vocabulary?

Why are you fighting so hard? Do you end up feeling upset about everything in your life? You probably give all you’ve got to others and never get anything in return. If that sounds familiar to you, let’s find out why this is happening and why self-love is so important.

You don’t love yourself

 

Before you bring back to mind all the selfish people you know, let me tell you that isn’t self-love. Looking always at the mirror, literally and figuratively, and admiring yourself isn’t what I have in mind. Believing you are perfect at everything is the other side of the coin, it is an illusion, and it can also make you feel depressed. 

The definition of self-love is the proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being. Don’t you want to be happy? The problem is that others cannot make you happy, only you can. If it is that simple, why aren’t we doing anything about it?

Simply because most of the times, we don’t really know what we want or are afraid of making a choice. What will the outcome be if I turn right and not left, what if I get that job or the other, should I move to another city or stay here?

Dilemmas and questions that are difficult to answer and can lead to stress that makes the matter even worse. 

It is amazing how we go through life and never get to know ourselves. Not knowing who you really are can lead to a total disaster in your everyday life. Why? When you have low self-esteem, you can easily get manipulated by other people, get depressed, become unhappy, and generally feel sad with every breath you take. 

 

Do you really love yourself?

 

Would you date you? Funny question, don’t you think. But more amusing is that you are thinking about this right now. Haven’t you still come up with an answer? When you see yourself from the outside, you suddenly realize that there are many things about you that you probably don’t like. 

Well, no-one is perfect, but why do you have to see only the negative aspects of your personality. They are only negatives because you see them as so. If you don’t like something, change it, but most of all love yourself and never be ashamed of who you are. 

Stop reading this post and go look yourself at the mirror or check yourself on your selfie camera. Let me introduce you…to you. Now that you met you should help each other to live a better life.

Your other half in life is your reflection if you see yourself as you really are you can do things to improve your life and feel whole. Just don’t stay at a corner afraid of expressing true self, make choices, move, try new things, hobbies, jobs – explore your personality. 

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

Theodore Roosevelt

 

You might be sleeping with the enemy

 

If you’re judging yourself all the time, think of all the worst outcomes, have low self-esteem, why are you expecting others to have a better opinion about you. As much as you’re trying to hide it, others can tell.

Like the wild animals, they can smell your fear and can find ways to If you clone that kind of a person and you would be sentenced to live the rest of your life you would surely panic.

No-one has the power to make your life miserable in the same way as you can by yourself. Look at the mirror… Why do you want someone so close to you, to be your enemy and not your friend? 

 

No-one is going to save you

 

Sometimes when you don’t have self-esteem, and you don’t know what you’re worth as a human being, you can easily be prone to believing that someone will come to your rescue.

I hate to be the one to tell you that the prince has left the building. Why do you have to put your future in another person’s hands? Why can’t you save yourself from yourself?

Again the problem is you, and the solution is you. People end up in toxic relationships because they lack self-esteem and get easily manipulated by their partners. 

You are the only one who can change your life

 

Whatever your dream life might be, you should know the power is in your hands. The secret of all successful people was that they never gave up on what they believed. If you hate your job, don’t just talk about it for hours and hours with your friends.

Search for a job that could be better, ask people you know, don’t drown yourself in the problem. That could also apply to every aspect of your life. If you’re in a lousy relationship, break up. Your reality can change if you let it to.

You see your life through the lens of fear

 

We all as humans are creatures of habit. When the habits are good, they serve us, when they are negative, they mess up our lives. Watching your life go by and always being afraid of what others might think or what impact might a change have in your life won’t help you evolve.

Disaster or failure isn’t the most probable scenario in this world, only if you continuously focus your mind on that. Most of our fears never become a reality, but we spend so much time grieving as if they were real. 

 

Forgive and love yourself

 

Don’t be hard on yourself. Everyone goes through different stages in their life and make quite a few mistakes. What is in the past doesn’t have to be an obstacle you have to face every single day. Let the past teach you and make you wise. Forgive yourself and move on.

Stop negative self-talk

 

Stop it right there. Here we go again, what if I told you that you’re emotionally abusing yourself. The worst thing is that you can quickly get used to it and start believing it to be true.

You’re fat, ugly, worthless, weak, uneducated, dumb and I’m sure you can find additional ideas to make up the list. Stop judging yourself.

You wouldn’t let anyone else talk to you this way, why do you allow yourself to do that to you?

Don’t compare yourself to others

 

You are unique in this world, one of a kind and you want to be like someone else. Why? People love you the way you are, those who don’t just don’t and won’t. Everyone in this world, even the most beautiful, charismatic, intelligent ones know that some people just don’t like them.

Accept it and unleash your true self. People are attracted by the ones that are genuine and enjoy to be in their skin. Love what you are, who you are, and everything about you. Try to become a better version of yourself. 

 

Stop believing that your mistakes are failures

 

Everyone is always afraid of making mistakes. But what are they really? The only ones who don’t make mistakes are those who never do anything in their life and the ones that are dead. That means that if you want to move forward, learn new things, make decisions, you are more likely to make mistakes.

Failing at something for those who want to be perfect brings disappointment and usually quitting what they were trying to do. But what if mistakes were the signs that lead to the right path?

As Tomas Edison replied when asked about the invention of the light bulb:

“I haven’t failed — I’ve just found 10,000 that won’t work.”

Will you stop at 9.999?

 

Happiness is not a destination

 

Seeking happiness as if it was a destination, a solid-state that would last for a long time is unrealistic. Happiness lives in small everyday moments.

When we appreciate how lucky we are among the people, we love when we accomplish something when we visit a beautiful place. Just fill in the blank.

By realizing that, you can train yourself to see the world around you from a positive perspective, from the small and mundane things to the greater ones.  

Life can be beautiful when you have a purpose

 

The greatest gift you can give yourself is goals. Challenging yourself can make you feel alive, even though it might seem complicated and frightening, you have to try it.

It doesn’t have to be a big goal to become a fitness model in a week if you are obese. Don’t get me wrong, if you set your mind into something you can do it.

Trying more simple goals can boost your self-confidence and self-love. Gradually you can set more difficult ones and learn to enjoy the process. 

 

 

Talk to yourself

 

No, no, you’re not going crazy. On the contrary, talking to yourself out loud according to recent studies shows a high level of intelligence and can help your mental health.

Talking to yourself –well not in public – can help you put your thoughts together, find a solution to a problem, improve your memory, and come up with new ideas. The most important thing is that you learn to listen to your voice. Throughout the day we never pay attention to our voice, we have no idea how we sound like.

That is why when someone records us, we feel awkward. Listening to your voice can help you feel present and can relax you. Treat the moments you talk to yourself as a practice of self-love.  Treat those moments like if you are talking to someone who you can trust and by listening to your problems out loud can help you understand them and find a solution. 

Breathe

 

Breath in… Breath out… Relax. Meditate. Keep a journal. Workout. Move. Practice self-love, be present as much as you can and have positive energy. Never wait for weekends to enjoy your life and have a good mood. Appreciate who you are, and work on evolving yourself to the best version you can be.